What is going on?

God is crying on me.
His tears bead on my skin,
Cling to my eyelashes.
I slam the door to escape (from what?),
And barbaric sounds emerge
From my strained* throat.

I stand, waiting for my turn.
No time left, I turn to depart.
Say goodbye, please, say it.
I turn, and nothing stops me.
Dazed, in a trance, numb -
I don't get a turn at the watering hole.

Suddenly, I'm in it -
Gasping, liquid filling my lungs.
I'm not intoxicated, but
Which way is up?
Opening my eyes stings,
All I see are bubbles.

Where am I?



*looking for a word that means "previously unused but now is used" preferably with a connotation of now out of date, rusted, not smooth.







what the fuck.